Dan Howell and Phil Lester.
(+Chris & Pj!)
~On a semi-hiatus~
so today I got in a bit of a mess
i used to be a cool and relevant dan and phil blogger
I AM REALLY UPSET BECAUSE NOBODY IS KISSING ME OR GOING OUT WITH ME OR CRUSHING ON ME EVERYONE ELSE HAS A PERSON WHERE IS MY PERSON WHY DONT I GET A FRICKIN PERSON
some tips for ppl in the phandom
- be nice to all people even if they’re new fans
- everyone wanted to fuck dan and phil at one point
- remember u r not superior
- u r not superior
- and if something happens
- get off tumblr, chill, read a book maybe have some tea
- recalculate ur life and stop bein a lil bitch
- "we’re all in this together" -troy bolton
Dan Howell - whose name rhymes with Hand Towel and ((???)) Scowl and Sand Owl - was created when a woodland creature had a baby with Liam Payne from One Direction. When he’s not procrastinating by eating the entire fridge or staying awake until 6am he makes youtube videos on the channel danisnotonfire (which was his username back in the lolrandom.com days).
Before becoming a youtuber teenager, Dan worked at DIY shop until one day he sold an axe to a 8 year old. Dan’s greatest hits include “What not to do on the beach” (where he actually went outside), “Sexy internet dating” (where he invited a naked 50 year old called Manesh to our house) and “What is my life” (where he spent 8 minutes pritt sticking various meat products to his face).
I know what you are thinking… I want some Dan facts! WELL HERE THEY ARE JENNY! (I just totally freaked out anyone called Jenny).
Dan is scared of trees.
Dan has two knees.
Dan eats cinnamon cereal every day (except on the days I steal his cereal)
Dan doesnt like it when you steal his cereal.
I am sat next to Dan now and he said if he could have any dog it would be a Shiba Inu.
If you haven’t checked out his videos yet then you are missing out - a LOT. Also you might want to check out his pretty cool friend Phil.
Get his autograph below! Or find someone else called dan and get him to forge it.. Just convince yourself it was true
Ok bye -Phil
Phil Lester is the by-product of two related grandparents and a haircut that was cool in 2006, but that’s okay because he has a lovely personality. His quirky videos and idiosyncratic editing style sets from apart from other YouTuber vloggers - that and his unique life to which seems to attract a worrying amount of strange people and situations (which he retells for your enjoyment). If you look at yourself in the mirror and think “wow I am so weird how do I function” - Phil’s the guy that teaches you to embrace your individuality
If you see Phil this weekend, do not be alarmed if his hand is facing backwards towards his pocket in a claw shape, he can’t help it. And he does not condone irresponsible use of permenant markers on your face.
Remember, normalness leads to sadness.
Would it make you wet? It’s all about the C.U.N.T.